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Monday, April 10, 2006

What kind of Communist are you?

Feeling Communist? If so, this quiz is for you. After completing a few questions, all of life's questions will be answered regarding what kind of Communist you truly are. The answers to every question are Communist in one way or another: there are no tricks here... this quiz just determines how extreme you truly are.
  1. You are asked to join a governmental revolution, how do you respond.

  2. I would be the one to lead a revolution and would do all in my power to keep it moving.
    I would die for a cause I truly believed in.
    I would rather take power after a revolution has run its course.
    Revolution is inefficient... it is far easier to militarily impose rule.

  3. You stumble upon a sum of money one day while on a hike alone in the woods. What do you do?

  4. I would split the money with my comrads, but I would make sure to give myself a larger portion.
    I would spend the money on a new sweater for Boris: a poor infant facing his first Russian winter.
    I would split the money equally between my comrads and myself when I get back to the commune.
    You put the money into your own savings... you earned it, didn't you?

  5. Your next-door neighbor, Nikita, is having trouble harvesting his crop. What do you do?

  6. I offer to teach Nikita how to better tend his land and ask for a favor in return.
    Knowing I am a better farmer, I annex and utilize part of Nikita's land for the community.
    You do nothing: Nikita must learn to take care of himself.
    I offer Nikita to merge his property with mine so we can work together.

  7. A friend of your's is being bullied by an arrogant imperial. How do you respond?

  8. I threaten to take physical action.
    Accompanied by my friend Qveton, I draw a defensive perimiter around his property.
    I call for a community meeting to decide what to do with the bully.
    I confront the bully and ask him to stop.

  9. A town to the north is slowly becoming Communist, how do you aid them in revolution?

  10. I help fight for the cause in order to spread Communism and to free the working class.
    I advise the town's revolutionaries in wise actions against their government.
    I use unconventional warfare to subdue their government and render the victorious.
    I send in a full militia to murder anyone and everyone I see that isn't a revolutionary.

If you find yourself in the low green, consider revising some of your military strategy to be more aggressive: you are a weakling and will never make it in society.

If you are in the high-green or low yellow, you are in the sweet spot and would make Marx and Engels proud. Don't change a thing.

If you find yourself in the red, you are an extremist and have mutilated the idea of Communism in every form. You stand among Stalin, Ho Chi Minh, and Mao in your tenacity and are, truthfully, not a true Communist, but rather a power-hungry dictator. Go kill yourself, traitor.

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