How Metal Are You?

Are you Metal Satan, or a sqeamish little Him-lover?

1. You break up with your partner. Do you:

Cry yourself to sleep, listening to
Get Drunk
Stalk them until they call the cops
Burn Down a Church, whilst breaking glass bottles over your head


2. If you are in a club, how do you dance?

Like Jagger
Dance? You stand at the back, in black, dreaming of burnt churches
shimmy-lite disco boppery, flashing flesh
Mosh until covered in bodily fluids


3. You have enough money to by one cd. Which do you go for?

Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
Taking Back Sunday
Arch Enemy's 1st Album
CD's? You burnt your cd player as an offering to Satan


4. Haircut time. Pick the closest to your haircut. Be honest, I can tell.

That Chick out of Nightwish
Kerry King from Slayer
Bruce Dickinson in the 80s
Emo-Fringe


5. GWAR. In your opinion, they are:

Fucking Crap.
A bunch of barely talented freaks, but you like them for the exploding cock cannons.
Really Fucking Crap
A Walsall Radio Station


6. At a gig, that rock star you always wanted a bit of asks you back stage. Your Partner says no way!

You: dump the wife, drop trow and whip out the nipple clamps
You: Sulk and cry until you get sympathy head at home.
You: Slap your bitch, telling him to go home and wait in your dungeon
Say: "No way. I love him/her. Not even for you, Bruce Dickinson."


7. You form a rock group. Your band name is:

Funeral for an Aquaintance
Merkin Hunter
Moonn O))))
ChurchburningsonsofShagguroth


8. what tattoos do you have?

None. Tattoos are for wankers.
A few
Full Sleeves and a bat on the throat.
A Heartagram

Scores:
10 or Less: Get away from me. Aren't you in Busted? Girls Aloud fans laugh at you, and your emo-hair. Your mum wishes you were dead.

11-40: Bah. Do you even know what a burnt down church looks like? You smell like Ville Vallo, and are twice as clean cut. Everyone hates you.

40-60: One day, if you rock out hard enough, maybe you too could play guitar with Judas Priest. The groupies would love your metalness. In fact, I already want to be your groupie slut.

60+ Dude.... you.... are.... awesome..... but you worry children with all that blood on your lips. You dream of pillaging holy places. In fact, just piss of back to Sweden. you could be Mortiss' Dad.