I'll Be Dashed... Super Quiz

Hello Dashers. Welcome to the I'll Be Dashed... Super Quiz. Forgive me for referring to myself in the 3rd person. You know DJS hates to do that. Now, let's see how closely you've been paying attention...

1. 1. What is DJS’s favorite comedy of all time?

Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Dumb and Dumber
Raising Arizona
Terms of Endearment
Kingpin


2. Name the horse-faced actress from the list:

Sarah Jessica Parker
Jennifer Garner
Julia Roberts
Mr. Ed
All of the above


3. What movie has DJS sworn he would never see? Even if the fate of the world depended on it?

Blues Brothers 2000
Because of Wynn Dixie
Butthole Delight 4
Catwoman
A Walk In The Clouds


4. What insect does DJS dislike the most?

Mosquito
Box-Elder Bug
African Beetle
Centipede
Fire Ants


5. What is the DJS-crafted word for making sweet, sweet love?

Oooga Fooga
Uhhhhzzzzsssshhhh…
Fuckity-fuckity-fuckity
Squish, squish, squorsh
Bappity bappity


6. What state is home to I’ll Be Dashed…Headquarters?

State of Confusion
Wisconsin (Sconnie)
So-Dak
No-Dak
Minnesota


7. What type of meat will DJS never insert into his mouth hole?

Beef
Chicken
Man meat
Fish
Both man meat and fish


8. DJ Shovelpants got his name from…

A legendary folklore hero story
Being a master on the 1’s and 2’s
Nowhere. Just made it up
His dad, DJ Shovelpants, Sr.
That’s what his wife calls him


9. Which celebrity does DJS hate with every fiber of his being?

Oprah Winfrey
Drew Barrymore
Ricardo Montalban
Kiefer Sutherland
Jessica Simpson


10. What sport does DJS watch with great earnest?

Gotta be football!
Take DJS out to the ball game!
Boxing, fool.
Boo-ya! It’s basketball!
Is NASCAR a sport?


11. What blend of coffee does DJS savor?

Mocha triple caff, half espresso
Folgers
Mountain blend, lots of sugar, lots of cream
He fucking hates coffee
Iced coffee with some of those goddamn beans


12. What movie does DJS make fun of Dirty for owning the ‘Ultimate Edition’ of?

The Scorpion King
Notting Hill
Amelie
Weekend at Bernies 2
Terms of Endearment


13. DJS killed a celebrity in his dream with a knife to the throat. Who was it?

Vin Diesel
That retarded looking kid from The O.C.
Kelsey Grammer
Jeremy Piven
Justin Timberlake


14. Which state does DJS think they could wipe off of the map of U.S.A. and no one would miss them?

Ohio
New Mexico
South Dakota
Wisconsin
All of the above


15. Why is this blog called ‘I’ll Be Dashed…’?

Because it’s so damn catchy
Because DJS worked with a smelly guy who said it all the time
Because dashes are soooo 2005
Because ‘Soft Drink’ was soooo 2001
Because ‘Vertical Smiles’ was taken


16. What celebrity touched DJS on both shoulders more than 3 times?

Macho Man Randy Savage
Emilio Estevez
Sigourney Weaver
Uma Thurman
Jeremy Irons


17. DJS, picky-eater that he is, has a real aversion to what types of food?

Delicious food
Foods with tomato-based sauces
Things that have bread included in them
Entrees that have white, creamy shit in it
Food loaded with salt


18. What religious denomination is DJS?

Lutheran
Catholic
Baptist
Jewish
None of the above


19. Does he practice his religion?

Hell no. He’s agnostic.
Yes. He goes to church every Sunday like every other blind follower.
Why, yes. He does enjoy eating ‘Christ Chex’ by the fistful
Actually, he’s an ordained minister
He collects bibles as a hobby


20. What country music artist does DJS listen to?

Willie Nelson
Hank Williams Jr.
Johnny Cash (but he doesn’t really count as country)
Shania Twain
Garth Brooks


21. On any given roadtrip, what can you count on DJS having in large supply?

Sacka grass
Industrial-sized Diet Coke
Maps
CDs
Orange Tic-Tacs


22. Speaking of roadtrips, which of these bands has DJS seen with Dirty?

Bjork
Eels
Tenacious D
Bjork & Eels only
All of the above


23. What movie did DJS see with HAL in Rochester, New York that made him cry like a little bitch?

Pay It Forward
Free Willy 3
In America
Weekend at Bernies 2
Terms of Endearment


24. What is the worst CD DJS has ever owned in his life?

Andrew W.K. – I Get Wet
Bloodhound Gang – Hefty Fine
Coldplay - XYZ
Morrissey – Seriously, I’m Gay
Ren & Stimpy – You Eeeediot!!!


25. How often does DJS watch TV?

Almost never
Sometimes
All the f’in time
He watches an occasional show, but only the few he tapes
He prefers to read the classics instead

Christ. That was a waste of time, wasn't it?

If you scored 70% or below, please remove me from your 'Favorites.'

Thanks for reading.